Dear Lord,
Please can you send some clothes for the poor women in Daddy's magazines.

Dear Lord,
My young child of 22 is far too happy, clever and stable. She has a career. Please help her find you so that she can be a faithful wife, a happy house worker and humble.

Dear Lord,
If you are omniscient, why do we have to pray?

Dear Lord,
My child asked me who Adam and Eve's children slept with. It made me think. I know you don't like that, sorry.

Dear Lord,
I know we haven't spoken before, but last night I took viagra. I have experienced a new vigor, and slept with my wife and some other girls several times. I'm not letting you know because I'm a convert, I'm just telling everyone.

Dear Lord,
I was just wandering about the Creation. As you are all-powerful and can do anything, why did you rest on the seventh day?

Dear Lord,
When John the Baptist, Jesus Christ and Paul of Damascus said the Kingdom of God was coming soon ... well you've annoyed a lot of programmers.

Dear Lord,
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.